Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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