So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize