she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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