dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
