ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
