If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize