Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize