Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i now understand why vodka
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
