How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
