Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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