We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
