The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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