She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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