I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
