i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
