at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
