I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
