What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize