can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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