Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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