Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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