it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
is it fun? or sober?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
