She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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