Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
too bad you live with your parents still
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
