I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
