Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
