Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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