i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
