Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
