i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize