I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize