If that was your dad, he is hot
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
