dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize