she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
