I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
