i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
