Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
