physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
