At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Randomize
