Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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