if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
