girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
