she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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