the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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