Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
