Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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