Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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