Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i already hear my dad disowning me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
