hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
