Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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