I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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