have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
