he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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