I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
