Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
