Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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